Jess's Journal: Life Unscripted

Since I am on Christmas break and I successfully conquered the fall 2018 semester, I thought I would write this blog post. 2018 molded me, broke me, and humbled me. Today, I'm a whole lot smarter and wiser. I'm thankful for the hidden blessings and the lessons learned along the way. This past semester was a time I decided to change my perspective on a whole lot of things. I came into this semester with uncertainty. I had to detach myself from the events that happened from the end of sophomore year that continued on through junior year. This fall, it was a completely clean slate in the English department. It was also a clean slate in Common Partners and in the Writing Center. I have come to realize that people are human. I have come to accept my own shortcomings as opportunities to be more vulnerable, for growth. Detaching myself is one of the hardest skills I have worked on this past semester. Not only did I attempt to remove myself from the situation with the education d

Last night when I was surfing the Internet, I discovered a picture of something very poignant. The text of a book excerpt really resonated with me today, so I thought I would share it.  "The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn't very good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more? How do you sell an anti-[aging] [moisturizer]? You make someone worry about [aging]. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are left behind.  To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act. To be happy with your own non-upgraded existence. To be comfortable with our messy, human

Senior year is a time where we assume greater financial independence. It is a year where we stress over grad school applications and our futures after college. In my case, it would be to set a budget to be able to live within my means. For three years, I have been overspending on food at school, so my hope is to do things a little bit differently. Living within your means is finding the limit of how much money you have to spend. I have yet to find what the amount in that limit is, but what I do know is that I know what the amount is above it. So it is time to make a change. It is a change that will benefit me in the long run. It's time for me to stop spending money on snacks, food, and drinks, and start spending money on healthier options. That way, school would not be as much of a burden as it is.

I've had a lot of things on my heart and mind lately. Somehow, I have entered a new season in my life without even realizing it. I'm not the same person I was a year ago. I've grown as a human being in retrospect realizing that everything happens for a reason. I've learned to embrace my weaknesses and will gladly boast in them, because God created me for a purpose. Interpreting social cues has been a long-standing weakness, even as I started this blog almost four years ago. Sometimes, when I read old posts, I do not recognize the person I was when I wrote them. Writing them was a way to channel the raw emotion I've held inside. Looking back, I could have channeled my emotions privately. I don't know for certain how the future will look like moving forward, but things are so much different now and I am still learning. As a digital citizen on the Internet, I have a responsibility and an obligation to live authentically and humbly, and to spread positivity and

This is what I found today on the Internet. I hope you enjoy this quote. "Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it." - Robert Frost

I wanted to let everyone know that I am moving forward with things. So, I thought I would write this short blog just for fun. Well, here's the thing. If you constantly focus your energy on your setback and how it is affecting you, you will never be able to move forward. Taking your energy away from the past and its hold can give you a brighter future. I got back to writing recently and personally, I think it is helping me move forward. I am much happier now than I was a year ago, or even six months ago. What happened in the past does not have a hold on me. Nor does it have the power to affect my future. Positive being positive is what we should strive for. In order to move forward, we have to keep on saying that the past does not define us and should have no hold on us from now on. This is what we need to do in order to come back on top, stronger than we've ever been, in God's grace.

When I started this blog, I had no clue where it would take me. At the core of this blog, I knew I wanted to put faith as an integral part of it all. Unscripted, raw, unblemished. This ever-evolving faith continues to be a huge part of what I write about. The trials and tribulations I have gone through, some self-inflicted to the point where things get out of control serve as a reminder that things in this world are only meant to be temporary -- from the friends and acquaintances in my core circle, to life groups at Immanuel, to extra-curricular activities, and to schools. It is important to know that sometimes I do look at the past as a reminder of how far I have come. Going to college straight out of high school is a whirlwind. A whirlwind of emotions, possibilities, and setbacks. Every year I ask myself: why stay when I continue to have setbacks? This year, I hope I don't come up with the same answer of being a legacy student. Instead, I am asking what God's will is for my

I have to admit, I wanted to title this blog post “You Never Know Which Direction You Want to Go”. However, I stopped dead in my tracks. God’s plan is not easy to decipher, if I am being honest. Since there were trials and hardships, I took a break from writing for a bit. Mainly because school got in the way of many things. If I were to do a soul-check right now, I would describe it as a metaphor of room temperature coffee served to Elizabeth by Miss Clara in the movie War Room . Now this Christian film was number one in the box office for a brief period during 2015, and it was a movie about how prayer can be used as a powerful tool in the restoration of a marriage.  Now, this is a huge struggle. Honestly, my faith cooled a bit throughout the past year, leaving it to be lukewarm. As believers, we are supposed to be on fire for Christ and hate being lukewarm, but to say I have not been lukewarm in my faith would be deceptive and therefore distort the truth. I have b