Jess's Journal: Life Unscripted

Three years ago, my senior year of high school dealt a mixed bag. Three years later, I’m not the same person crying over what happened with journalism. In fact, a little more life experience can cause me to laugh at the general cynicism of life. If I’m honest, these failures made me toughen up a bit. Perhaps I’ve gotten a little too worrisome. College is a whole different level of mixed bag. When the lows happened in high school, they did not compare to the low points I have experienced in college. Even with last semester, I was focused on what people thought and what people tell me to do, instead of listening to my own heart and intuition. Wisdom taught me to be wary of chasing pipe dreams and plans that fall apart. I guess I am just sick and tired of trying at things I will never be good at. One more year to possible graduation. I will be looking forward to it.

Quicker than next semester's quips, my creative juices are in overdrive. More blog posts will be written more than ever, especially over the break. Expect a few poems to come from the fray. I have also received information from colleges at the graduate level, which has gotten me thinking about life after college. I am nervous about the whole thing to be honest. Maybe I will know more once graduation rolls around. Until then, I am going to take things one day at a time.

Life has its own share of chaotic moments we either share with close friends and family members or keep to ourselves in the midst of confusion. I remember over the summer when I volunteered at LUCID when chaos and confusion gave a whole new meaning to my life during 2017. In that time period, I struggled to find myself through a change in majors and a deteriorating mental state. I then thought to myself, "What purpose do I have left?" When life is in disarray, I go off course. Sometimes I struggle to realize that my plans are meant to fall apart before clarity takes place. So I spent the next few months struggling to write what was in my heart and soul in this crazy roller coaster called life. When human beings make plans without consequence, they fall apart. I sought to reclaim the teacher in me when I returned this past fall: the dreams I had plus many more. But the hole in my heart grew deeper and deeper. I was taking 18 hours over the course of the semester and I gr

When there is a writer's block, what am I to do? A writer with so many feelings cannot just stop writing all together. So many articles to plan in so little time. What's a girl to do? Luckily, the spring semester is on its way to beginning and it gets better from here. I am close to graduating and starting the next chapter. What's the next chapter? I do not know for sure. In the meantime, to keep my creative juices flowing, I am planning for a novel plus some poems. I got a few more articles and blogs to crank out as the semester rolls around.