Jess's Journal: Life Unscripted

Some chapters in life are not going to end happily, and that is okay. I never thought I would start a blog post with a theme of accepting that life doesn't work out the way I planned it out. I never planned on taking a gap year, but I am because I need to know what it's like to rest. I accepted that opportunity last October and while it doesn't make sense to most people, it was what was best for me. I never planned on graduating without an education degree. But a what was likely a tough decision for the dean to not allow me to go further into the program turned out to be what was best for me. My heart shattered into a million pieces, understandably. It took me two years, but I finally accepted that God was not calling me to the school system. I decided to close that chapter at graduation, reverse a previous open letter to my old major by writing a new one, and not look back. I could go on and on about the plans I have made while in college that have not worked out the w

Dear Education, It is time for me to apologize and own up to everything I have done to you, both in what led to the parting of ways and the aftermath. After all that's said and done, I am the only one responsible for our eventual outcome. I take full responsibility of my actions since the open letter from two years ago. If anything, the experience I had the last two years made me realize a lot of things. I was the one who chose to lie to lose a scholarship. I was the one who tried to change myself instead of being real with you. I was the one who rejected any attempts of constructive criticism through your action plans by living in complete denial of everything. I was the one who was competitive and perfectionistic. And I was the one who decided that being negative towards you or doing things out of jealousy through both my social media use and in real life was healing when in actuality, I was continuing to hurt myself and everyone in the process. Especially for attention. I kn