Growth
Since I am on Christmas break and I successfully conquered the fall 2018 semester, I thought I would write this blog post.
2018 molded me, broke me, and humbled me. Today, I'm a whole lot smarter and wiser. I'm thankful for the hidden blessings and the lessons learned along the way. This past semester was a time I decided to change my perspective on a whole lot of things.
I came into this semester with uncertainty. I had to detach myself from the events that happened from the end of sophomore year that continued on through junior year. This fall, it was a completely clean slate in the English department. It was also a clean slate in Common Partners and in the Writing Center. I have come to realize that people are human. I have come to accept my own shortcomings as opportunities to be more vulnerable, for growth.
Detaching myself is one of the hardest skills I have worked on this past semester. Not only did I attempt to remove myself from the situation with the education department, but I also had to remove myself from situations that happened when I was in high school. I even had to detach myself from the belief that I was a dweller and that I dwell on everything. That was a hard experience I had to learn all on my own, and not in any classroom.
Back in May 2017, I got rejected from the teacher education program the day before Baccalaureate and two days before Commencement. It was the most painful moment in my undergraduate career and all through junior year, I lived in denial of the outcome and attempted to prove it wrong. I was angry and I blamed professors and made choices that further confirmed their conclusion to reject my application. These are choices I fully regret making today.
At the end of the day, I am responsible for the choices I have made. I am responsible for the choices I make every single day. And I am responsible for changing my perspective on the situation so that I don't repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Because the truth is, I made choices both consciously and unconsciously that do not reflect what a successful teacher is. I was very competitive and thought I was better than everyone else, just because I was a graduate from Corbin High School and I was admitted as a legacy student.
These two facts about me did not matter in the end. I approached my first couple of years of college and junior year after the major change through a place of pain. I carried years of unresolved pain onto my undergraduate career. When the rejection happened, I went into a really dark place, a really dark place I had a hard time getting out. But little did I know, this rejection happened to be a turning point in my life.
I'm writing this while gliding through uncertainties in my own life. I know my old habits but I can process on them in a healthy way. Writing was my way to cope through the dark times, but now, I have healthier ways to cope with my emotions. I am different today, but somewhat more whole than what I was. I was broken, but now I'm becoming whole. I'm becoming who I'm supposed to be.
2018 molded me, broke me, and humbled me. Today, I'm a whole lot smarter and wiser. I'm thankful for the hidden blessings and the lessons learned along the way. This past semester was a time I decided to change my perspective on a whole lot of things.
I came into this semester with uncertainty. I had to detach myself from the events that happened from the end of sophomore year that continued on through junior year. This fall, it was a completely clean slate in the English department. It was also a clean slate in Common Partners and in the Writing Center. I have come to realize that people are human. I have come to accept my own shortcomings as opportunities to be more vulnerable, for growth.
Detaching myself is one of the hardest skills I have worked on this past semester. Not only did I attempt to remove myself from the situation with the education department, but I also had to remove myself from situations that happened when I was in high school. I even had to detach myself from the belief that I was a dweller and that I dwell on everything. That was a hard experience I had to learn all on my own, and not in any classroom.
Back in May 2017, I got rejected from the teacher education program the day before Baccalaureate and two days before Commencement. It was the most painful moment in my undergraduate career and all through junior year, I lived in denial of the outcome and attempted to prove it wrong. I was angry and I blamed professors and made choices that further confirmed their conclusion to reject my application. These are choices I fully regret making today.
At the end of the day, I am responsible for the choices I have made. I am responsible for the choices I make every single day. And I am responsible for changing my perspective on the situation so that I don't repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Because the truth is, I made choices both consciously and unconsciously that do not reflect what a successful teacher is. I was very competitive and thought I was better than everyone else, just because I was a graduate from Corbin High School and I was admitted as a legacy student.
These two facts about me did not matter in the end. I approached my first couple of years of college and junior year after the major change through a place of pain. I carried years of unresolved pain onto my undergraduate career. When the rejection happened, I went into a really dark place, a really dark place I had a hard time getting out. But little did I know, this rejection happened to be a turning point in my life.
I'm writing this while gliding through uncertainties in my own life. I know my old habits but I can process on them in a healthy way. Writing was my way to cope through the dark times, but now, I have healthier ways to cope with my emotions. I am different today, but somewhat more whole than what I was. I was broken, but now I'm becoming whole. I'm becoming who I'm supposed to be.
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