Not Sitting By the Sidelines
When I started this blog, I had no clue where it would take me. At the core of this blog, I knew I wanted to put faith as an integral part of it all. Unscripted, raw, unblemished. This ever-evolving faith continues to be a huge part of what I write about. The trials and tribulations I have gone through, some self-inflicted to the point where things get out of control serve as a reminder that things in this world are only meant to be temporary -- from the friends and acquaintances in my core circle, to life groups at Immanuel, to extra-curricular activities, and to schools.
It is important to know that sometimes I do look at the past as a reminder of how far I have come. Going to college straight out of high school is a whirlwind. A whirlwind of emotions, possibilities, and setbacks. Every year I ask myself: why stay when I continue to have setbacks? This year, I hope I don't come up with the same answer of being a legacy student. Instead, I am asking what God's will is for my life. The reason why I say this now as I look at the past is because here I am, at 22, still figuring things out. I thought that I would have life figured out by now but there is still no answer to what is best for me. When I make plans, often times they fall apart. At 19, I wrote a scholarship essay for a leadership position. I am reading this essay now to remind me that the first three years of college were riddled with decisions I would not make in the same exact way now. To be honest, I did cry a bit. There were a lot of things I was not ready for at 19 that I could have waited for.
It may take a lot of soul searching to regain the clarity in the midst of failure and loss. Undergrad is supposed to be temporary, and then it's on to the next stop along the journey. Sometimes it is hard to let go of what holds you back. This scripture is very important.
"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." - Philippians 3:7-11
That does not mean I won't have setbacks, but it means that the past will not disqualify me from my future endeavors. Nor will it disqualify me from graduation. I'm not going to sit by the sidelines hoping for things to get better. I'm going to seek Him first and then take action while seeking Him. I will glorify Him regardless of the hard times. He made me the architect, the rarest female introvert (INTJ), and I choose to seek His wisdom which surpasses all knowledge and understanding.
It is important to know that sometimes I do look at the past as a reminder of how far I have come. Going to college straight out of high school is a whirlwind. A whirlwind of emotions, possibilities, and setbacks. Every year I ask myself: why stay when I continue to have setbacks? This year, I hope I don't come up with the same answer of being a legacy student. Instead, I am asking what God's will is for my life. The reason why I say this now as I look at the past is because here I am, at 22, still figuring things out. I thought that I would have life figured out by now but there is still no answer to what is best for me. When I make plans, often times they fall apart. At 19, I wrote a scholarship essay for a leadership position. I am reading this essay now to remind me that the first three years of college were riddled with decisions I would not make in the same exact way now. To be honest, I did cry a bit. There were a lot of things I was not ready for at 19 that I could have waited for.
It may take a lot of soul searching to regain the clarity in the midst of failure and loss. Undergrad is supposed to be temporary, and then it's on to the next stop along the journey. Sometimes it is hard to let go of what holds you back. This scripture is very important.
"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." - Philippians 3:7-11
That does not mean I won't have setbacks, but it means that the past will not disqualify me from my future endeavors. Nor will it disqualify me from graduation. I'm not going to sit by the sidelines hoping for things to get better. I'm going to seek Him first and then take action while seeking Him. I will glorify Him regardless of the hard times. He made me the architect, the rarest female introvert (INTJ), and I choose to seek His wisdom which surpasses all knowledge and understanding.
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