Chaos Abounding

Life has its own share of chaotic moments we either share with close friends and family members or keep to ourselves in the midst of confusion.

I remember over the summer when I volunteered at LUCID when chaos and confusion gave a whole new meaning to my life during 2017. In that time period, I struggled to find myself through a change in majors and a deteriorating mental state. I then thought to myself, "What purpose do I have left?"

When life is in disarray, I go off course. Sometimes I struggle to realize that my plans are meant to fall apart before clarity takes place. So I spent the next few months struggling to write what was in my heart and soul in this crazy roller coaster called life. When human beings make plans without consequence, they fall apart.

I sought to reclaim the teacher in me when I returned this past fall: the dreams I had plus many more. But the hole in my heart grew deeper and deeper. I was taking 18 hours over the course of the semester and I grew more pessimistic as time went on. Deep down, my heart was numbed to the point where I could not withstand anything. In a fit of manic panic, I composed the best paper I have ever written in my academic career so far in my three years of undergraduate study.

So this Christmas break, I find myself in prayer more than ever. I also find myself reading my Bible more often than usual. I found clarity but I know now that life has its share of setbacks and triumphs. So I leave this with my theme verse as I reclaim joy in my journey.

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." - James 1:2-4 NKJV

As I have learned from both Joy in the Journey conferences -- happiness is fleeting, but joy is everlasting. Joy is what we need to cling to in the midst of chaos and confusion. No matter what, joy is what remains.

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